Gazing into the Abyss
by Sisiutil
Summary: Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3. Freighter pilot Axel Bergeron receives disturbing news about his lover, Jedi Knight Kilu Branon. He hurries off to help her, but he may be too late... and rushing headlong into danger himself. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Gazing into the Abyss**

**Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3**

_a fanfic by Sisiutil_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Axel Bergeron was seated comfortably in the pilot's chair on board his ship, the _Nomad_, running through a maintenance checklist. He had a rare few days of downtime in between jobs, so he had returned to his home base, the spaceport city of Carnaxa on the planet of Sessram Prime, to keep his aging YT-1300fp light space freighter in good working order. It was tempting, of course, to just keep flying and earning income, especially for a one-man, one-ship operation. But anything with moving parts required maintenance, and the _Nomad _was no exception.

From behind him, he heard a short series of beeps and whistles from R4-E6, his agromech droid. He could hear barrel-shaped droid's wheels quietly humming down the corridor towards the cockpit; no doubt its conical-shaped head was swivelling expressively atop its white and black striped body.

"Well, who is it?" Axel responded to the droid's message without looking up from the checklist on his datapad. He heard a brief warbling sound in response to his query. "'An old friend'? I wonder who that could be... well, fine, show him aboard."

A moment later, Axel heard a single set of footfalls in the corridor behind him. He turned in his chair to glance at his visitor... then sprang to his feet.

"General Solo...!" Axel said, his blue eyes opening wide as he stared at the tall, handsome former leader of the Rebel Alliance standing only a couple of meters away. In his white shirt and dark vest and pants, Solo didn't look the part of a military general. But then again, he'd always been unconventional, and that's probably why he'd been so successful during the rebellion against the Empire, and why its leaders had valued him so highly.

"It's just citizen Solo now, kid," the former smuggler told him. "Though you are being a lot more respectful than you were the last time we met."

Axel had to cast his mind back--_way_ back--to recall that occasion. Back to when he'd still been a boy. His father had been competing with Solo for a job, and the client had asked to meet with both of them aboard the _Nomad _to make his decision. Solo had walked aboard like he owned the place, all young and cocky, and had bestowed that arrogant smile of his on Axel. The younger Bergeron had looked up at him and called him a dirty rotten underhanded pirate. And Solo's cocky grin had broadened, and he'd asked Axel if that was what his father had said about him, and when Axel had said it was, Solo had leaned down and told him his dad was right. Then he'd laughed and ruffled Axel's hair, and Axel had hated him, and hated him even more when he'd won the job away from them. It was funny, Axel reflected, how time and circumstance had changed things. A few years after that, Solo had no longer been a competitor--he was a hero of the rebellion, and Axel's childish disdain had gradually changed to respect, even admiration.

Which was why Axel now shook his head and laughed abashedly. "I was just a kid," he said with a shrug.

"You weren't too far off the mark, at the time," Solo said as a shadow of his old, cocky smile appeared on his face. Then he grew more serious. "I was sorry to hear about your dad. He was a good man."

"Thanks," Axel replied, nodding sadly. It had been over a standard year since his father's death, but the wound still felt fresh whenever someone brushed against it, no matter how well-intentioned they were.

Solo directed his gaze behind Axel. "I see you left the cockpit on the wrong side," he remarked.

Axel shrugged and held up his left hand. "Runs in the family," he said, to which Solo responded by raising his eyebrows and nodding. "You know, I'm glad you're here," Axel went on. "I've been trying to enhance her hyperdrive efficiency, like you did with the _Falcon_. I saved up and put in a larger unit like you have, and it helped, but it's still not quite there. I think it has something to do with the efficiency of the alluvial dampers, but I'm not completely sure...?"

He watched Solo expectantly. The veteran smuggler looked back at him with the same expression that Axel suspected he used during high-stakes sabbac games.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that," Solo said.

Axel suddenly burst out laughing, and Solo also smiled and started to chuckle.

"Once a freighter jockey, _always _a freighter jockey, eh?" Axel remarked. Solo nodded, indicating he hadn't at all forgotten his days in this hyper-competitive business where shaving off a few hours' delivery time here or a saving a few credits on fuel there meant a big difference in profits and opportunities for future business. And any secrets to achieve either one weren't readily shared.

"So what brings you here?" Axel asked him a moment later.

"Well," Solo said nonchalantly, "I was in the neighborhood on New Republic business--chauffeuring the wife on another one of her diplomatic missions--and a friend of mine asked me to drop in on you."

"What friend would that be?"

"Luke Skywalker," Solo answered.

That name certainly caught Axel's attention, and not just because Luke Skywalker--Jedi Master, hero of Yavin, Hoth, Endor, and countless other battles--was something of a living legend. He was also, for all intents and purposes, the boss of Axel's lover, Jedi Knight Kilu Branon. Not that anyone was supposed to know that he and Kilu were intimate. Jedi weren't supposed to form permanent attachments, after all. And now Skywalker had sent one of his oldest and most trusted comrades to just say a friendly hello to the proprietor of a single-ship space freight operation? No, this had something to do with Kilu. Axel was sure of it as soon as he heard Skywalker's name mentioned. Nevertheless, he adopted the same studiously neutral expression Solo had displayed just a couple of minutes ago.

"Really?" Axel responded, brows raising slightly. "Any particular reason...?"

"Luke asked me to extend an invitation for you to visit the Jedi Praxeum on Yavin 4," Solo told him. Axel opened his mouth to ask several questions, but Solo held his open hand up to stop him. "He didn't tell me anything more than that, sorry. But just between us, knowing Luke like I do... I'd say the invitation is of the 'as soon as possible' variety."

"As in, drop everything you're doing and get your butt over here forthwith?" Axel said.

"Something like that, yeah," Solo confirmed.

From down the corridor came the distinctive sound of a Wookiee's plaintive cry. Solo turned his head in response to it.

"Sounds like your better half is calling you," Axel joked, but his smile and his voice were both tight.

Solo smiled and laughed briefly, then turned to go. "Good seeing you again, kid," he called back over his shoulder. "Take care."

Axel did not respond. His mind was already elsewhere, even as he activated his ship's command console and began to tap in the pre-flight sequence. Skywalker's invitation could be entirely innocent, but Axel doubted it. As the _Nomad _roared out of the hangar and into the atmosphere, he ruefully thought that he should just have a preset for the navicomputer labelled "trouble". Because as much as he loved her, Kilu Branon had a definite talent for getting herself to that location in record speed, and for dragging Axel into it after her.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Gazing into the Abyss**

**Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3**

_a fanfic by Sisiutil_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

At top speed, it would take the _Nomad _just over two days to travel from Sessram Prive to Yavin 4. Technically, Axel was in hyperspace during that entire time; but he was also spending it in his own private version of hell. Because for two days, with the ship running efficiently on auto-pilot, he had nothing to do but sit around--or, more frequently and accurately, _pace_ around--and worry about the woman he loved.

The most innocent explanation for the invitation, of course, was that Luke Skywalker had found out somehow about Kilu's relationship with Axel. By tradition, Jedi were not supposed to form permanent attachments--especially of the romantic variety. The source of the concern was that close personal relationships led to negative emotions such as fear and anger, and those in turn led to the dark side of the Force. Such attachments could also distract Jedi from attaining their cherished unity with the Force. Axel disagreed with the policy vehemently, of course, and Kilu had told him that in the New Jedi Order the rule was observed more in the breach than in the observance, which had given them hope. Perhaps Skywalker, however, had decided to crack down. But why would he want to talk to Axel, then? Wouldn't he instead just reprimand Kilu? No, unfortunately, the simplest and most innocent explanation didn't make sense.

That logic made Axel worried that he was being summoned because Skywalker knew about the relationship, yes, but had bad news for him. The life of a Jedi was never bereft of danger, and Kilu was often a magnet for it. Axel's overly-active imagination ran through the many possibilities: Kilu could have been on a mission and been captured. Or she might have been hurt. Or she might even be...

No. Axel couldn't accept the last, final possibility; he did his best to prevent himself from even thinking about it. She was alive. She had to be. He wasn't Force-sensitive and therefore couldn't sense her that way, but he was certain that she had to be alive nonetheless. Because _he_ was still alive. And he couldn't imagine going on living if she wasn't.

He had time to reflect upon the last few months, searching for clues as to what might have happened. Their relationship had taken a significant turn after that incident on the remote jungle planet of Cetachuya. Kilu had single-handedly defeated a Sith Lord--who also happened to be her former Jedi teacher--and had recovered a case load of lost Jedi holobooks. Thanks to the Sith in question, Axel had nearly been killed. Her concern for his welfare had evidently made Kilu realize the depths of the feelings she had for Axel. For his part, he regarded the trip from Cetachuya back to Yavin as the happiest three days of his life; he and Kilu had spent nearly every hour in one another's arms. Looking back now, he remembered that there had been times when she'd seemed troubled, but that had been understandable. Her former teacher had gone evil, and she'd been forced to take his life. That would shake up anyone, even a Jedi.

After her return to Yavin, the Order had regarded her experience as the equivalent of the Jedi trials that members had to pass in order to achieve the rank of Jedi Knight. The promotion meant that Kilu had more assignments of her own, on her own. It meant she could slip away here and there to rendezvous with Axel, but it also meant that she was busier and had more responsibilities. They saw one another when they could, and kept in touch through sub-space comm calls and, when one or both of them were unavailable through that means, through long text messages. He'd noticed her increasing frustration with their situation, and shared it. But it was the way things had to be. He wasn't going to ask her to give up being a Jedi, but he couldn't give her up either.

And then, starting about two weeks ago, he hadn't heard anything from her at all. Not a message, not a call, not one word. He'd assumed she was on a mission where she had to be incommunicado; he just wished she'd somehow told him that was the case beforehand. He'd tried not to worry about her. He'd been extremely unsuccessful in that endeavour. And now had come this mysterious summons to the Jedi headquarters; it wasn't helping his already agitated frame of mind. It brought him right back to the worst-case scenarios: that she'd been captured, or abducted, or badly hurt, or...

Axel checked the chronometer on his ship's display panel. Twenty-nine hours, seventeen minutes, eight seconds to Yavin. He couldn't get there fast enough.

* * *

Axel guided the _Nomad _into the large hangar bay that occupied the lowest level of the Great Temple on Yavin 4. The Temple itself had enough history on its own to impress him, but beyond that, he knew that the rebel starfighters that had fought in the Battle of Yavin, in which the Empire's first Death Star had been destroyed, had been launched from this very same hangar. Axel suddenly remembered that Kilu's father had been in one of those starfighters--and that he hadn't come back that day. He wondered how she felt about living and working in this ancient building now; she hadn't mentioned anything about her feelings on it one way or the other, so he supposed it wasn't an issue for her.

One of the hangar attendants directed him to an elevator which he took up to the Great Temple's second level. As he stepped off the elevator, he found himself standing directly in front of one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. She had long red hair and striking green eyes; her relatively loose, comfortable Jedi clothing did nothing to hide a well-proportioned dancer's figure. He couldn't help giving her the customary male once-over, but thought he'd done so quickly enough so as not to be offensive. When she didn't step out of his way, he automatically made a move to step around her. To his surprise, she put herself directly in his path.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked him.

Axel looked into those beautiful green eyes and was struck by the suspicion there, as well as a cold, dangerous hardness that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"I'm here to see Luke Skywalker," she told her.

"What about?" she demanded. One hand was on her hip; the other, he noticed, was resting casually--deceptively so--upon the lightsaber that hung from her belt.

"I... don't know," Axel replied. "He invited _me_ here. My name's Axel Bergeron...?"

One slender red eyebrow twitched upwards, indicating that she recognized his name. She paused a moment, studying him intently, her lips pursed in thought. Axel could feel a trickle of sweat running down his back.

"Across the hall, third door on the left," she said, gesturing down the hall with a twitch of her head without taking her eyes off of him.

"Yeah, thanks..." Axel said, stepping around her and watching her warily the whole time. "Glad you're on _our_ side, lady..." he muttered.

"I wasn't always," she said to him over her shoulder. Then she disappeared down a corridor.

_Mental note_, Axel thought to himself. _If you meet her in a dark alley, run away. _

Axel found the door she'd indicated and touched the entry request on its external command pad. The door slid open, and he went inside. He found himself inside an office that was tastefully decorated in soothing tones and occupied by a single occupant, who was behind a desk in the middle of the room. He was already rising when Axel walked in.

"You must be Axel Bergeron," the man said, a welcoming smile upon his face as he extended his hand. "I'm Luke Skywalker."

Axel had not been sure how he'd feel about meeting a living legend. He had expected to be awed. Instead he found himself astonished by how very _human_ Luke Skywalker appeared to be. He was in early middle age, but he looked to be in excellent physical condition and had retained much of his boyish good looks, though they had been hardened somewhat by years of fighting for the rebellion and the New Republic. His sandy blond hair was short, parted on the side, and bereft of grey. His handshake was firm. And, to Axel's surprise, he found he had a few centimeters on the Jedi Master.

"It's an honour to meet you, Mister Skywalker," Axel said.

"Please, call me Luke," the Jedi said with a wave of his hand.

"You're... shorter than I expected," Axel blurted out before he could catch himself.

Fortunately, Skywalker took it in stride. He laughed softly, nodded, and said, "Yes, I get that a lot. Please, sit down," he said, gesturing towards two padded chairs off to the side of the room. "I'm glad to get the chance to meet you in person," Skywalker said once they were seated. "The Jedi Order owes you a debt of thanks for helping to retrieve those lost records from Cetachuya."

"It was my pleasure," Axel said, then shifted his weight anxiously. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just cut the chit-chat and tell me why I'm here? I've spent the last two days in hyperspace going slowly out of my mind. It's... it's about Kilu, isn't it?"

Skywalker's pleasant smile vanished in an instant. "Yes," he said. "Yes, it's about Kilu. I understand you and she are... very close."

Axel only hesitated a moment, knowing it was pointless to try to dissemble in front of a Jedi Master. "Yes. We're... intimate."

"I appreciate your candor," Skywalker said. "Han tells me you're a straight shooter. So I'll be straight with you." He pressed his lips together and exhaled. "We fear that we've... lost Kilu."

Axel could feel the knots his stomach had been tied into for two days beginning to tighten. "You mean you've lost contact with her? On a mission?"

"No," Skywalker said, his blue eyes staring directly into Axel's. "I mean that we've lost her to the dark side of the Force."

Axel sat in stunned silence for a moment. For two days he'd been torturing himself, turning over every possible worst case scenario in his mind. Even, eventually, considering the horrible possibility that Kilu was dead. But this was one situation he had not considered, not even for a moment. It hadn't even occurred to him. For one very simple reason.

"That's impossible," he said to the Jedi.

"I'm afraid it's not," Skywalker told him. "She's crossed over. I wish..."

"No, you're _wrong_," Axel said emphatically, leaning forward. "Look, with all due respect, you don't know her. Not like I do. She spurned two Sith Lords when they tried to entice her over to the dark side. _Two _of them. When they were threatening her with _death_. She spat in the face of one of them, I saw her do it! There is _no way_," he said, chopping down with his hand as he said each word, "that Kilu Branon would _ever _go over to the dark side. She's a good person. She..."

"She left here two weeks ago by stealing an X-Wing," Skywalker told him in a matter-of-fact tone. "Two mechanics tried to stop her. She attacked them. Put both of them in the infirmary. One's still in critical condition. Do you still want to try to defend her?"

Axel's eyes were wide open, staring at Skywalker in shock. Even so, a moment later, he shook his head. "No. It's a ruse, a trick of some kind."

Skywalker sighed. "Look, I know this is hard to accept..."

"Yeah, it's hard to accept because it's NOT POSSIBLE!" Axel shouted as he rose from his seat.

Skywalker raised his hand and gestured with his fingers as though he was turning a dial. "Calm down," he said.

Axel suddenly felt his rising anger flow out of his body. He sat back down and looked at Skywalker with a peaceful expression on his face. Then he blinked and frowned. "Did you just... mind trick me?" he asked.

"Yes," Skywalker admitted. "Sorry about that, but you were getting hysterical. If it's any consolation, the fact that you're aware of it shows you're _not_ weak-minded. You just had a... weak moment. Understandable, given the circumstances."

"That's not much consolation at the moment," Axel said despondently as his head fell forward into his hands. "Kilu..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news," Skywalker said sympathetically. "I preferred to tell you in person. That's why I asked you to come here. That, and for one other reason."

"What's that?" Axel asked, lifting his head to look at the Jedi Master again.

"Has she contacted you? In the last two weeks?" he asked.

"No," Axel replied, his voice heavy with dejection. "I haven't heard from her at all since she... Huh. I was wondering why. Guess I know now..."

"That might not be such a bad thing," Skywalker told him. "Dark Jedi aren't exactly known to be... _gentle_ with people they were close to before they turned. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?"

Axel was about to answer, but then he noticed: there was something in the Jedi's tone... something that set off alarm bells in the back of his mind. He turned and looked at Skywalker, his brow furrowed.

"Why do you want to find her?" he asked.

"We just don't want her to hurt anyone else," Skywalker said in a tone of voice that sounded just a little too reassuring.

It was an answer, but it wasn't an answer. How did they hope to prevent that from happening? As Axel sat there, with the Jedi Master steadily meeting his gaze, a number of other questions came to him. Why would the Jedi Order want to track down one of their own who'd turned renegade? What would they do if and when they found her? The answer came to him quickly... and it involved lightsabers.

"No," Axel told him, "I have no idea where she's gone. I would have hoped, if she was in trouble, that she would have come to me. But she hasn't."

"I see," Skywalker said evenly. "Well, as I said, that may be for the best. I know it's difficult, but you should regard her as dangerous--because she is. Extremely dangerous."

"Got it," Axel said. "Well. Thank you for telling me," he said, slowly pushing himself back up to his feet. "I wish I could have been more help."

Skywalker placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "Just promise me you'll contact us if you hear from her. Or if anything else occurs to you."

"Will do," Axel said as he walked out the door and left the office.

After a few minutes, the door chime in Skywalker's office sounded yet again, and the formidable redhead Axel had encountered earlier strode into the room.

"You told him?" she asked, her arms crossed. Skywalker nodded. "The techs attached the tracker to his ship. But you realize that we'll lose him when he enters hyperspace. When he does eventually drop to sub-light, he could be days away."

"I know that, Mara," Skywalker responded.

"You also realize, of course, that you might have just sent him off to his death."

Skywalker nodded sadly. "I know that too. But that young man is our best hope of getting her back."

Mara Jade walked forward and sat down upon the edge of his desk. "Luke. I know you want to restore the Jedi Order. And you're trying to follow the old ways. But those old ways didn't prevent the Empire from arising. In fact, they may have kept the Jedi from realizing what was actually happening. They failed. Yoda admitted as much himself."

Luke returned her steady gaze. He was one of the few people in the entire galaxy who could. "What are you saying, Mara?"

"I'm saying that it might be time to rethink that old Jedi policy regarding 'personal attachments'," she said.

And, looking at her, Luke Skywalker had to concede that she had a point.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Gazing into the Abyss**

**Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3**

_a fanfic by Sisiutil_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The place hadn't changed one bit, Axel thought. Same mind-numbing heat and humidity that made his minimal clothing of a white undershirt and khaki pants cling to his skin. Same stench of stagnancy and decay that fouled his nostrils with their odour. Same ultra-creepy vibe given off by the ruins of an ancient civilization that had just... vanished. The fact that two Dark Jedi had died there, and might have left some sort of evil influence hanging around, didn't enhance the place one bit. Then there was the cheery thought that he and Kilu had very nearly died here. None of these facts endeared him to Cetachuya, but he'd come here nonetheless. Because he had a hunch that if Kilu was hiding somewhere, she'd do it here. Because she'd done so before.

The last time they'd been on the jungle planet a few months ago, Kilu had realized that she'd actually lived here for a short time when she'd been a little girl. Her mother had brought her here to hide from the Empire. On the trip back to Yavin from Cetachuya, Kilu had explained more to him. Her mother had known that a Dark Jedi had been killed on the planet. That would have left a dark side "remnant" that effectively cancelled out Kilu and her mother's light side energy and, thereby, hid them. Apparently the Jedi Grand Master Yoda had also used this trick to hide from Darth Vader and the Emperor, who were likely to enslave any Force-sensitives they found, or kill those who remained defiant--hence the reason for Kilu's mom to hide herself and her daughter. Once Kilu's father had hooked up with the rebellion, he'd come back here and had retrieved them.

It was also the place, on that recent visit, where Kilu had discovered that her first Jedi teacher, Cylus Vax, was still alive. And had also discovered that he had gone over to the dark side of the Force and had become a Sith Lord, calling himself Darth Mostrus. Kilu had fought Mostrus and killed him. Regardless of how the man had turned out, Axel knew that had been hard on her.

So given all this past history, Axel figured that if Kilu was hiding from her fellow Jedi for some reason, she'd come here. And if she wanted to commune with the dark side, well, _two _Dark Jedi had now been killed here. So if the terrible story that Skywalker had woven for him was true... but no. Axel couldn't accept it. As he walked warily towards the giant, vine-strewn stone ziggurat that dominated the jungle in this area, Axel told himself that somehow, Luke Skywalker was wrong about Kilu's sudden, shocking fall to the dark side. He couldn't explain why the Jedi Master would be wrong, but he also couldn't explain... couldn't_ beleive_... thatKilu had become evil. She had resisted evil, she'd fought it, she'd defied it even in the face of death. He felt the ache in his gut when he though about the possibility--his Kilu, his brave, beautiful warrior of light and peace and justice--crossing over to the dark side. He couldn't believe it. He _refused_ to believe it. There had to be another explanation, and he'd come here, to a place he'd sworn he'd never return, in order to discover the truth.

He stepped through the high, broad doorway to the interior of the massive temple. His hand wandered to the blaster he had strapped to his left thigh; he hadn't encountered any predatory carnivores on his previous visit, but that didn't mean they weren't around. He paused as his eyes took a moment to adjust from the brightly-lit jungle outside to the darker interior. The inside of the temple, however, was not without illumination. The people who'd built it may not have been capable of spaceflight, but they were advanced in several ways. The step pyramid was twice the size of the massive one on Yavin, yet it was almost hollow inside. And the interior had been coated with some sort of phosphorescent material that, even after several centuries, still bathed the dank, dark inner temple with an eerie, bluish-green glow.

As he had a few months before when he'd first entered, he noticed how the lack of sunlight did not lessen the temperature inside the temple. Far from it; the interior felt closer and warmer than the jungle outside. Axel had to keep blinking sweat out of his eyes. His gaze strayed over to a pile of collapsed stone on the mossy floor of the temple and, despite the oppressive heat, a shiver ran up his spine. Darth Mostrus had used the Force to pull a crumbling stone wall down on top of him. If there hadn't been a hole in the floor leading to an underground chamber, he would have been killed. And if Kilu hadn't defeated Mostrus in a lightsaber duel, Axel would have been left there, buried alive. No, he wasn't fond of the place, wasn't fond of it at all.

"Kilu?" he called out. The only rely he received was the echo of his own voice off the dark stone walls. "KILU!" he called again. Nothing.

Well, it had been a long shot, he reflected dejectedly. She could be anywhere in the galaxy by now--there were thousands of worlds capable of supporting human life. She could be on any of them. She could be...

_Right here_, Axel thought, as he spotted the X-Wing parked back in the furthest reaches of the temple's dark interior. He looked back at the temple's doorway. Yes, it was just large enough to allow an X-wing with collapsed S-foils to enter. If flown by a skilled pilot. Or if levitated by someone with prowess in the Force.

"Kilu?" he called out again. "Kilu, I know you're here."

"Do you mind?" he heard her voice reply from several meters away. "I'm _ trying _to meditate."

He almost laughed. He nearly whooped for joy. It was exactly the sort of thing she'd say, just the sort of playful banter they engaged in when they were alone together. She didn't sound evil at all. A little annoyed, maybe, but that he could deal with.

Axel moved towards where he'd heard her voice emanating from. There had once been an inner building inside the temple; much of it had crumbled, and Darth Mostrus had tried to pull most of what remained down on top of him, but some of the inner building's walls still remained upright. Kilu's voice sounded like it was coming from the other side of one of those old stone walls. As he walked towards it, Axel saw the flickering light of a candle upon the mossy stone floor.

He stepped around the wall, and there she was. Kilu. His beloved. Her auburn hair was loose and cascaded down past her shoulders. She was wearing a sleeveless black undershirt and olive-colored pants. She was barefoot, and she was sitting cross-legged on a mat upon the floor. Levitating in front of her were several small metallic items, obviously held in place by the Force.

"Kilu!" he said as he jogged over and knelt down beside her. "Am I ever glad to see you. Listen..."

"Quiet!" she snapped at him. "This is very delicate work. I need to concentrate."

"Kilu, this is important..."

"So is _this_," she asserted. "Now you'll just have to wait. In _ silence_. Understand?"

Reluctantly, Axel took a deep breath and held his tongue. _It's a Jedi thing_, he thought, reflecting on how they prided themselves on remaining calm and collected even in the face of danger. He also knew how stubborn she could be. So he waited. He watched with growing fascination as she began to levitate the many finely-tooled metallic components hovering in front of her together, each one sliding into place inside a long, slender metal cylinder that sported a handgrip. Axel recognized Kilu's lightsaber, and grew even more interested; he'd read that all Jedi constructed their own lightsabers, but he'd never seen it done before. Not all of the components were metallic; one, he could see, was a crystal that appeared dark as obsidian in the reduced light inside the temple. Finally, all the components came together, and the lightsaber hovered into Kilu's open hand.

"There," she said with a pleased smile. "Now, what's so important, lover?"

"Kilu, you're in trouble," he said. "I just came from Yavin 4. I met Skywalker. The whole damn Jedi Order thinks you've gone over to the dark side."

"Do they?" she said evenly, as if the idea did not surprise or alarm her.

"Yes, they do," Axel said, frowning at her nonchalance. "Kilu... I admire this Jedi detachment of yours, but now is really _not _a good time for it. I don't know for sure, but... I think they're going to hunt you down, Kilu. They might even try to kill you."

"How good of you to lead them right to me, then, beloved," she said brightly as she finally turned to look at him.

"Huh?" he said. "No... I'm sure I wasn't..."

"Followed?" She sighed and rolled her eyes. "They planted some sort of tracking device on your ship when you were in their hangar, Axel," she told him. "Why else would they have asked you to come to Yavin 4 in person? So Uncle Luke could place a fatherly hand on your shoulder and tell you how sorry he was for how I've turned out?"

"Oh, _hell_," Axel swore as he realized that she was right--and how foolish he'd been. He rose to his feet. "Damn, damn, damn, DAMN! I just... didn't think they'd _do_ that..."

"...Because they're Jedi? So they'd never do anything sneaky and dishonourable, right?" She commented sarcastically.

"Look, if that's what they've done, then... we have to get out of here," he said. "They won't have been able to pick up the signal until I went sub-light, so we've got three days lead on them. I know a shop on Fondor where we can get _ any _tracking device located and removed. Then..."

Kilu rose from her cross-legged position and walked up to him. She pressed one finger against his lips, then smiled and shook her head.

"Axel, Axel, Axel," she said in a playful, sing-song voice. "Calm down, lover. It's okay. I _want_ them to come here."

"You do?" he said, frowning. But he saw her relaxed, confident expression and immediately relaxed. "Of course! So you can clear this whole thing up, right? I mean, obviously it's some big misunderstanding," he said, laughing in relief, and she began to laugh along with him. "I knew it. So what's really going on?"

"Well," Kilu said, "Why don't I tell you what's going to happen instead? The Jedi will be here in a couple of days--probably in force. Heh. That's a pun, get it?" He groaned a little, but kept smiling at her. "Yes, I imagine several of them will show up. I really hope Luke will be here, I really do."

"That would be the best way to get this whole thing settled, right?" Axel commented. "Talk directly to the boss."

"Oh, definitely!" Kilu agreed. "Yes. They'll all come in through that door..." she said, pointing at the temple entrance, "...and I'll walk up to them, and whip out the ol' lightsaber..." she activated the weapon, and its bright red blade hissed to life in the soft bluish-green light of the inner temple, humming as she waved it in front of her. "And _then_, I'll _kill_ them. EVERY. LAST. ONE OF THEM," she snarled, emphasizing each word with a quick slash of the growling energy blade. "That ought to _settle_ it, don't you think, lover?" she concluded, turning towards Axel and smiling.

Axel was staring at her, his eyes unblinking. He laughed nervously. "Kilu, that's not funny."

"Who said I was trying to be _funny_?" she said.

The light-hearted tone had disappeared from her voice, just as the smile had vanished from her face. In its place, Axel saw, was a look he'd never seen upon the face he'd come to love so much. It was a look of pure, unadulterated hatred. Her dark brown eyes were cold and hard where once they had been bright and warm; her jaw was clenched, her lips pressed together into a thin, merciless line. And then it struck him: the lightsaber. Hers had always been green. Now it was red, the same color as the ones the two Sith they'd faced together had been using.

"Oh no," Axel said miserably. "No, Kilu, no..." he went on, shaking his head, trying to deny it, trying to shut it out and make it all go away, but there she was, standing right in front of him, with that horrible red blade and that look on her face that struck terror into his heart. _Skywalker was right, right all along_, Axel thought,_ and I was too stupid and love-struck to see it... _

"You're going to have to stop calling me that," she told him, a hard edge plain in her voice. "From now on, I'd really prefer it if you called me... Darth Abyysma."

He stared at her in shocked silence. The air around him seemed thick and heavy, even more so than it had only a moment ago. It was pressing in on him, suffocating him. He could barely breathe. A single tear ran from one of his eyes.

Her brow furrowed and she cast an inquisitive look at him. "By the way," she asked him, "do you know any good tattoo artists?"

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Gazing into the Abyss**

**Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3**

_a fanfic by Sisiutil_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Kilu, no..." Axel said, his voice little more than a horrified, agonized groan.

"I _told _you not to _call _me that!" she snapped at him. She turned towards him, the lightsaber still active, the bright red blade glowing and humming in front of her, pointing right at him. Instinctively, he gasped and stepped back from it. "Oh," she said, an amused grin curling one half of her mouth as she glanced at her weapon. "Is it making you nervous, precious? Fine, I'll turn it off." Which she did, and hung the weapon from a clip on her belt. The gesture didn't make him feel any more relaxed.

She strode up to him, her hips swinging a little as she approached. "Now, let's say hello properly," she said. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. Then she kissed him, her open lips covering his, her tongue invading his mouth. He was too startled to respond. One of her hands wandered down his back and squeezed one of his buttocks. He raised his hands to her shoulders and pushed her away. He stepped back from her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"What's the matter, lover?" she said as a nasty smile appeared on her lips and a wicked gleam shone in her eyes. Then her lower lip pushed outwards in a mock pout. "Don't you _love_ me anymore?"

"Kilu," he said, holding up his left hand, its palm towards her and its fingers outstretched, "this... this is _not you_."

"You're right," she said with a smile and a nod. She spread her arms. "I've been _liberated! _And I have you to thank for it. Which, by the way? Is the _only _reason you're still alive," she said with a smile and a laugh that inspired no mirth in him whatsoever. "Well, that and, uh... one other talent you have," she said as her eyes took a lascivious trip down over his body.

Axel was focused on what she'd said several sentences back. "You have... _me _to thank?" he asked, clearly confused.

"It was when you were trapped in there," she said, pointing to a hole in the stone floor. Axel had jumped into it during that confrontation with Darth Mostrus to avoid being crushed by the wall that the Sith and pulled down towards him. "I was using the pathetic_ light_ side to move the stones out of the way, but that was taking_ forever_. So... I used the dark side. Just a little," she said, holding her forefinger and thumb close together in front of her. She dropped her hand, then inhaled deeply and a short, soft moan escaped from her lips. "It was my first taste of the dark side of the Force... and I did it to save _you_. That's right, the dark side saved your hide, lover. So it can't be _all_ bad, can it?"

"You didn't... you didn't tell me..." Axel stammered.

"Well, of _course _not!" she exclaimed, and rolled her eyes. "It's not the sort of thing a wimpy little Jedi would admit to, now, is it? I mean, I used the _dark side _to save my _lover_," she said, counting off both emphasized points on her fingers. "That's two big demerits right there. Golly, they might have kicked me out of the clubhouse for that."

"This isn't... I mean..." Axel said, gesturing towards her shakily, "this isn't... permanent, right? You can... you can come back to the light side, still, can't you?"

She looked at him as though he'd suddenly sprouted eye stalks. "Why would I _want _to?" she asked rhetorically. "You have no idea how _powerful _ the dark side of the Force is, Axel!" she told him enthusiastically. "I mean, since you have all the Force sensitivity of a _brick_, that's obvious, but you get the point, right? I'm not going back. I don't want to go back. I _like_ what I've become... no, I _love _it. Like I love you..."

She walked towards him once again, and for a moment, just for a moment, he thought he saw a sign, a flicker, of the old Kilu, _his _Kilu, in her expression as she looked at him.

"Axel, we can be together," she said. Her hand reached out to caress his cheek. "There are no rules anymore, not for me, and not for you either." She brought her face closer to his; her lips hovered enticingly over his mouth. He could feel her breath as she whispered to him, so warm and so sweet on his skin. "We can go wherever we want, do whatever we want..."

Her hands were on his shoulders now, kneading them tenderly, just like she used to do. Her body was so close to his; even with the jungle heat around them, he could still sense its warmth. He swallowed. In spite of everything, in spite of what she had become, it was tempting. So very tempting. It was what he wanted, to be with her all the time. Maybe he could take her away, maybe they could escape together, go somewhere. It wouldn't be easy...

"The Jedi," he warned. "They'll hunt you..."

"Let them," she said coldly, and her hands fell from his shoulders and she took a step back from him and just like that, the illusion was shattered. "I'll kill them _all_. I'm looking forward to it."

"No," he said, opening his eyes, still trying to wake himself from this nightmare. "No, Kilu, you're not a killer."

"Do you want me to prove it to you?" she said, her eyebrows raised. "And for the last time, stop _calling _me that! Kilu Branon is _dead_. I told you, I'm Darth Abyysma now."

Suddenly, his confused expression disappeared. "Kilu is dead," he said bleakly. He slowly took a step back from her.

"Didn't I just say that?" she replied. "Is there an echo in here? Oh wait, actually, there is..."

Axel had taken another step back from her. His left hand had slowly, surreptitiously dropped to the handle of his blaster. "She's really gone, isn't she?" he said. He took another step backwards. "And _you're_ what's left."

"Do you have a problem with that?" she asked him pointedly.

"Not at all," Axel said. His voice with redolent with his disdain for what she had become. And, in truth, with self-hatred as well. Because he'd drawn her down this path. All he'd wanted to do was to love her. Instead, he'd destroyed her. And destroyed himself as well, because if Kilu was gone, and this cold-hearted mockery was all that was left, then he didn't want to live. His hand was around the blaster's grip now, his finger on its trigger. "In fact, it just makes this easier."

He drew the blaster, pointed its muzzle at her, and fired.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Gazing into the Abyss**

**Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3**

_a fanfic by Sisiutil_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Her lightsaber was in her hand before he pulled his blaster out of its holster. Even as he took aim at the center of her chest, he saw the red blade extend, heard the threatening hum as the energy weapon came to life. The blaster bolt struck the red lightsaber blade and ricocheted harmlessly away into the depths of the ancient, cavernous temple. Then they stood, once lovers, now adversaries, staring at one another with only a few meters separating them, he with the blaster in his hand, its muzzle still pointing at her, she with the lightsaber active, ready to block his next shot.

"I'm not angry, lover," she told him. "Actually, I'm kind of impressed. To be honest, I really didn't think you had the..."

Her words were cut off as he fired the next shot from his blaster. Her lightsaber swung down to her waist and blocked that shot as well.

"There have been several times when I've wanted to say this," Axel told her, "and now I finally can. Kilu, _shut up_."

He fired off a series of shots, aiming at her head, her legs, her torso, her arms. Each time, her lightsaber buzzed and hummed as it moved faster than his eye could follow, and each time, his blaster fire was sent wide.

"You know, I can do this all day," she told him as an amused smile appeared on her lips. "But that would be boring. You wanna have some fun?"

With that, she disappeared. More precisely, she rose into the air in a quick Force jump. But Axel had anticipated this. She might have become evil, she might have gone over to the dark side of the Force, but he still knew her better than anyone. On top of that, he'd spent his whole life reading people, knowing from their tone, their facial expression, the subtlest movements of their body how they were going to jump when it came to a business deal. He'd recently found, thanks to her, that this skill was useful in combat situations as well. So he was already in motion when she jumped. He threw himself to one side, hitting the mossy earth and rolling, then pointed the blaster upwards. He fired off several shots at her as she descended towards where he'd been standing. She twisted in the air like a gymnast, her legs above her, the lightsaber extended below her as she swung it to block his fire.

She landed deftly only a couple of meters away from him and Axel scrambled back to his feet. He back-pedalled, his blaster firing the occasional shot as she ran towards him. He risked stealing a glance over his shoulder and saw one of the old walls behind him. When he turned around, she'd disappeared again. He immediately stopped his backwards motion and threw himself forward, rolling on the moist ground, trusting to luck...

Luck wasn't with him. Her foot struck his right shoulder as she descended, sending him spinning, rolling painfully across the floor. He gritted his teeth and did his best to ignore the pain and kept rolling. He stopped and raised the blaster and squeezed off one shot but she was already in the air before it left the muzzle, doing that damned Jedi leaping thing of hers. He tossed himself onto his back and pointed the blaster up towards the high ceiling of the temple, ready to fire another shot at her... but she was gone. She'd vanished. He couldn't even hear the buzz of her lightsaber anymore.

Axel scrambled to his feet. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, could feel his lungs gulping the thick, moist air, could feel the sweat soaking his clothes, collecting in his boots. He looked around himself, and above as well, fully aware that he faced the threat of attack from several directions. But there was no sign of her. She was probably enjoying this. He took the opportunity to quickly fasten his blaster's wrist-strap.

"Hiding from me?" he called out to her. "I can't believe I've got you that worried!"

Echoing from several places above him, he heard her laughter. Not that delightful, babbling-brook sound he'd come to adore, though; a twisted, perverted version of it that made him feel as though someone had reached into his chest and shoved ice next to his heart.

"As if," she taunted him. "I just enjoy watching you sweat, lover. It's kind of sexy."

"So why don't you come down here and experience it up close and personal?" he shouted back.

"Okay."

Suddenly, her voice was close, too close, right behind him. He turned...

...and caught a powerful right jab to the jaw. He spun backwards, sweat spraying from his head as it whipped around and back. Had he not fastened that wrist strap, his blaster would have flown away from him. As it was, he lost his grip on it and the weapon twirled uselessly at the end of the strap. He landed hard on the stone floor and his left hand scrambled to regain his grip on the blaster. He found the handle, pushed his index finger into the trigger guard, then rolled over and raised it, but she had already Force-jumped out of sight again. He lay there with his back on the ground, dirty, sweating, panting, his eyes darting about, trying to guess where her next attack would come from.

"O-ver he-re," she said in a sing-song voice that emanated from his right. He rolled over and saw her there, her lightsaber ready in her right hand. He took aim and knew even before he pulled the trigger that the bolts would never find their mark, but he fired anyway. The lightsaber activated and the blade blocked two of his shots, then she Force-jumped. He could hear the lightsaber humming through the air above him and he twisted on the ground, firing upwards, every bright red bolt flying at her just a split second too late, and then she was descending towards him, the red blade growling as it moved, hissing as it blocked a blaster shot, coming closer, closer...

It was the strangest sensation. One moment he was firing blaster shots, desperate ones that either flew uselessly to the high ceiling of the temple or deflected harmlessly off her lightsaber blade. Then suddenly the blaster stopped firing. His brain was still sending signals to his left hand to squeeze the trigger, but the signals never got there... because the hand was gone. He looked at his left arm, which looked so strange, so blunt with no hand at the end of it.

Then the pain hit. Then he screamed.

He screamed and couldn't stop screaming. He glanced at the ground, his eyes opened wide in shock, and saw the hand laying there, the blaster still in its grip. A thought flashed through his brain that he should reach out and grab the weapon with his right hand, but then the pain returned and pushed all thought from his mind. He pulled his left arm in to his chest and cradled it with his right hand. The stench of his own burnt flesh assaulted his nostrils as he stared at the charred, blackened stump of his wrist. His whole body was shaking, his breaths were coming in short, shallow gasps. Slowly, he became aware of another presence, standing over him, a bright red glowing blade held off to one side. He looked up at her.

"You always hurt the one you love," she said, then stepped over to his severed hand and the blaster it still held and kicked both far out of his reach.

Axel ground his teeth together and told himself, _willed _himself not to pass out. He let what remained of his left arm rest in his lap and used his right to push himself up to a sitting position. As his head came up, he became aware of the bright red glow of the lightsaber hovering directly in front of his face. He looked up at her, up into the face he had come to love, but he saw no sign of the woman herself there. Everything he'd loved about Kilu Branon, that he'd always been able to see in those expressive brown eyes of hers, was gone. Her idealism, her bravery, her hope, her innocence, her love... all gone. He saw nothing in the eyes of the... the _creature _now standing over him now but contempt and hatred. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look upon this twisted mockery of a person he'd once loved.

"K-Kilu..." he stammered in a whisper ripe with despair.

"I told you," she said, "Kilu doesn't live here anymore."

"Y-you're n-not her," Axel said. "Y-you're some... _thing_... some evil _thing_... that j-just wants to k-kill..."

"Not to put too fine a point on it," she remarked, "but you shot first, flyboy."

"Whatever. Just... just do it. G-Get it over with," he said, well aware of the proximity of the lightsaber blade. It gave off no heat, surprisingly, but its red angry light shone even through his closed eyes, and of course he could hear that hum, that damned incessant hum, right next to his ear.

"Folding already?" she said, her voice dripping derision. "After losing one paltry hand? You never were much of a sabbac player, were you?"

He laughed briefly, a short, hollow, bitter sound. "Y-you gonna... crack jokes when the Jedi come for you?"

"Maybe, maybe not," she said. "But I'm sure expecting more of a fight than you put up."

"K-kill me," he said bleakly.

"Is that what you really want, lover?" she asked him, the last word spat out as though it was something distasteful.

"Y-you said yourself. Kilu is d-dead." He let out a breath. "And I don't want to live... in a universe where she no longer exists."

Her lip trembled, just for an instant. Then it rose again in a contemptuous sneer. "A universe that will be no poorer for your absence from it," she snarled. She slowly raised the light sabre over her head, preparing to swing it down and slice her former lover in two.

Axel lifted his eyes to look at her. His vision was blurred by tears; he blinked them away, felt them running hot down his cheeks. He saw her for what she was, for what she had become, but this wasn't the vision he wanted to take with him into death. He wanted to see _her _again; he wanted to see Kilu. With all his remaining willpower, he forced himself to see past what the dark side had done to her, to see the young woman she had been, the woman with whom he'd fallen in love. It was the one thing he wanted to see before he died. Through sheer force of will he forced his mind's eye to see her not as she was now, but as she had been--full of innocence and hope and bravery and devotion to others.

It worked. His trembling lips curled upwards in a smile of recognition as he saw Kilu, _his_ Kilu, one last time. His heart swelled. Fresh tears, not of pain but of joy, streamed from his eyes. Yes, he could die now, could embrace death, with that one last sight of her in his eyes and in his heart.

And as she held the deadly lightsaber above her head, she looked down at his face and saw reflected there not the fear she'd expected to see, nor angry defiance, but only one thing: love. Pure, adoring, unconditional love. And before she could stop herself, she reached out with the Force towards him, and the emotion that she'd seen in his face was relayed back to her a hundredfold. And she gasped. For in that one moment, the dark side of the Force failed her. It failed her completely as it met the one thing, the only thing in the universe that it could not defeat.

The light sabre fell from her hands, its blade retracting instantly as soon as its sensors determined that it was no longer in her grip. The inactive hilt clattered on the stone floor. She quickly followed it there, collapsing to her knees.

As Axel watched, the anger and contempt disappeared from her face, the hardness vanished from her eyes. He could see the latter change clearly, for her eyes were opened wide and stared, unblinking, at the blackened stump of his left arm.

"W-what have I done?" she asked in a small, tremulous voice. What have I become? She reached out with one trembling hand towards his severed wrist.

Kilu? Axel whispered, a small spark of hope flaring in his voice. Kilu are you?

Im so sorry! She exclaimed, her face folding in misery as tears spilled from her eyes. Oh, Axel, Im so sorry! Oh, my love, my love, what have I done, what have I done Then she could speak no more; she simply broke down and sobbed.

Kilu! Axel said as a beatific smile appeared on his face.

It was as though the pain and the shock suddenly faded. They went away, they vanished, because they didnt matter anymore. He reached out and took her into his arms, and she fell into his embrace. She was keening and wailing in misery as he held her, but the tears that fell from Axels eyes were tears of joy. Because, against all odds, he had her back. His beloved. His Jedi. His brave, noble Kilu. And nothing else in the universe mattered.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Gazing into the Abyss**

**Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3**

_a fanfic by Sisiutil_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Itll feel a little strange at first, Skywalker was saying, but after a while youll forget its artificial. Trust me, I know. The Jedi Master held up his own artificial right hand and waggled his fingers.

The medical droid made some final adjustments to Axels new artificial left hand, and the freighter pilot reflected that Skywalkers description was correct. It did feel a little strange, yet at the same time, even he was hard-pressed to identify the differences from the severed original. He opened and closed his fist several times, then ran his left thumb over his fingertips. He rubbed his right hand over the new artificial left one, and his brows raised as his nerves registered the sensations from both.

Amazing, Axel said. He glanced at the medical droid . I understand its got a dual power supply for redundancy. But Im curious about the cyber-neural interface

Axel, you are _such_ a geek sometimes, Kilu teased him from where she was standing on the far side of the room, her back leaning against the wall.

She was once again wearing her standard Jedi attire: khaki pants with a matching khaki wrap-vest over a white collarless shirt, a long brown robe, and her equipment belt, including her lightsaber, hanging from her shapely hips. It made Axel smile to see this visual reminder of her return to the light side of the Force.

Axel shrugged in response to her comment. It got me to where I am today, babe, he said.

Normally Kilu would have responded with a witty rejoinder about his current station in life, such as it was. Instead, she smiled demurely, nodded, and dropped her gaze back to the floor. Axel sighed softly as he saw this evidence of her continuing shame over her actions while she was under the influence of the dark side.

Well, Skywalker said, shifting his gaze between Axel and Kilu. I dont think were needed here anymore, Doctor. He took a step towards the door, then stopped and leaned towards Alex. Youll think about it, won't you, Axel? he asked the pilot.

Definitely, Alex responded earnestly with a nod of his head.

Kilu heard the exchange and frowned. Shed only entered the room a few minutes ago; evidently Axel and Luke had been discussing something before shed come in. As the Jedi Master walked by her, he turned and favoured her with a smile and a light touch on her shoulder.

Its good to have you back with us, Kilu, he said.

Thank you, sir. Its good to be back, she responded softly. "I'm glad Torvis is going to make a full recovery," she said, recalling the mechanic she'd injured badly when she'd stolen the X-Wing. "I can't wait for him to wake up... so I can apologize," she said, as both her voice and her gaze dropped away.

The Jedi Master nodded and walked out through the door. Then, with a soft hiss, the door closed behind Skywalker, and Axel and Kilu were alone.

Hey, he said softly, and Kilu raised her head to look at him. He could still see that ashamed look in her eyes. He reached toward her with his new hand and beckoned. Come here.

She smiled briefly and slowly walked over to where he was lying propped up on the medical bed. She inhaled deeply as she gently took hold of his artificial hand. She was all too aware that she was the reason he required one.

Axel, Im so sorry she began to say, shaking her head. Her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

Youve apologized several times now, he told her gently. You can stop anytime." He raised his left hand and caressed her cheek, and a tremulous smile flickered across her lips. "Though you know, you Jedi seem real big on cutting off hands, even whole limbs. Whats up with that?

Kilu shrugged and grimaced. You know... lightsabers extremities she said, extending her own hand. Then she shuddered as the act brought back that terrible memory of what she'd done to him. She closed her eyes and gave her head a shake, then cast her gaze down at the floor.

He put his right hand beneath her chin and gently raised her head so she had to look him in the eye. And stop looking away from me. You have such beautiful eyes. I want to see them. He shifted his right hand from her chin to her cheek and began to softly caress her skin with his fingertips.

How can you be so good to me, she said, after what I did to you?

He frowned, genuinely surprised by the question.

Dont you know? Isnt it obvious? She only looked at him blankly. He smiled. Cant you sense it through the Force? That, at least, brought an amused half-smile to her lips. Because _I _can sense it. _I _can feel it. His new left hand wrapped around her fingers and he pulled her in closer. He leaned towards her until their lips were almost touching. Because I love you, he said, then kissed her, ever so gently, his lips giving hers the merest brush. Id give my _life_ for yours. So a _hand_ he said softly, casting a glance at his new artificial limb, is nothing.

Axel she said as she released her hand from his and stepped away from him. She turned her back towards him. He watched her head of auburn hair shaking slowly from side to side. I love you too, she admitted. But dont you understand? she added, turning to face him. He almost winced when he saw the pain that was evident upon her lovely face. My love for you the passion I feel thats how the dark side pulled me in. He saw her shiver involuntarily. I gave in to my desires, and then Once again, her gaze dropped to the floor.

So, he said soberly, you love me but you cant be with me. And thats what made you susceptible to the dark side.

Yes, she responded, her voice filled with despair.

Well, I guess theres only one solution, Axel said.

Its the way it has to be, Kilu agreed. She reached up with her right hand to brush away a tear that was threatening to spill from her eye.

Right, Axel said, then glanced down at his artificial hand again. Well, its a good thing they were able to replace the hand.

Yes, Kilu said tightly, still ashamed about what shed done to the man she loved while under the influence of the dark side of the Force.

Because, you know, Im going to need that hand. He glanced at her, his blue eyes regarding her closely. For the ring.

For what? Kilu said, her head rising as a puzzled expression appeared on her face.

The ring. A wedding ring. Traditionally worn on the ring finger of the left hand.

Oh, Kilu said, her slender brows raising in surprise. Youre getting married?

Well yes, I hope so.

Oh, she said again, struggling to keep the pain and despair out of her voice. Her rational side stated silently within her mind that it was perfect: shed been telling herself she had to push him away forever, and if he was married, well, that would make it easier. Wouldnt it? Unfortunately, her heart was disagreeing with that notion. It felt as though her chest was constricting; she had to force a breath into her lungs. Do I, uh, know the lucky girl? Kilu asked in what she hoped was a bright tone, but she heard the quaver in her own voice as she spoke and suddenly wished she hadnt said anything.

Uh, yeah, Axel said, looking at her incredulously. Youve known her for years. Kilu continued to look at him blankly, with a pained expression upon her face. He sighed and rolled his eyes. Its you, silly!

Kilu stood there, staring at him, blinking. Me? she eventually managed to say.

Who else? Alex asked her. He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her. You know, for a Jedi, you can be pretty slow on the uptake sometimes.

Axel, she said, shaking her head, Axel, we cant! Jedi tradition

He held up his left hand, palm open to her. I said it to Skywalker, and Im saying it to you: you can take your Jedi traditions and cram them down the nearest black hole. And I dont mean the kind thats out in space, if you catch my drift.

Axel, listen

No, _you_ listen, he said sharply. Youre going to get the same speech I delivered to your boss yesterday when you were moping in your room, avoiding me. Dont try to deny it, you were. You didnt fall to the dark side because you love me. You fell because you love me _and you thought you couldnt do anything about it._

Kilu opened her mouth to contradict him, but no words came out. His own words slammed home in her mind. He'd stated it so baldly, and it was so obvious that she suddenly felt ashamed that she hadn't figured her out for herself. It was as though it had been there in front of her all this time, but she'd been unable to see it.

You felt angry and frustrated and powerless, Axel continued. Those are the very sorts of negative feelings that lead to the dark side, and thats exactly what they did. Dont try to pretend that sending _me_ away is going to make those _feelings_ go away, because they wont. Theyll be pulling you back towards the dark side for the rest of your life, and you know it. Kilu could not suppress the shiver that ran down her spine as she realized the truth of his words. Well. Axel leaned back into the elevated top third of the hospital bed. A smug expression appeared on his face. The solution, as I pointed out to Skywalker and as Im pointing out to you, is obvious. Remove the source of the frustration and anger: my _absence_ from your life.

A smile was slowly taking shape on Kilus lips. And Master Skywalker he agreed to this?

When I explained it to him that way, Axel said with the same smug expression on his face, Skywalker asked if I wasnt a secret Jedi Master myself." His expression became thoughtful. "We had quite a long talk, in fact. Hes been wondering if perhaps the old Jedi Order were so focused on their connection to the Force that they lost any sort of connection with the very people they were supposed to protect. Maybe thats why they didn't see what was coming. He thinks that in the New Jedi Order, once Jedi reach a certain level of proficiency with the Force, permanent personal relationships may, in fact, be an asset--a way for you superbeings to stay connected to the everyday concerns of us ordinary types. Axel paused for a moment, then smiled at her. I think he may be onto something. Hes a very down-to-earth, practical guy, your boss. I think its the farm boy in him." Axel was glad to see her smile at that remark. "Actually, just between you and me I get the feeling hes thinking of getting married himself. Mums the word, though."

"Is he?" Kilu said, her eyes suddenly alight at the prospect of hearing some gossip. "Are he and Mara finally..."

"I told you, mum's the word!" Axel teased her. "Oh, I almost forgot: he also offered me a job.

Kilus auburn brows rose. A job?

Yep. Hey, Jedi need freight and passengers hauled from place to place just like everybody else. Pretty good benefits package, too. Full medical coverage, for one, he said, grinning as he flexed his new artificial fingers again. So Ill never be too far away from you, or if I am, not for long. Especially since Ill be your transport pilot for all your field work.

Kilu was smiling broadly now, and nodding. Sounds like youve got it covered from every angle, she commented. Axel nodded his head in acknowledgement of the compliment. She took a step towards him. But theres just one problem with your plan, she said; her eyes narrowed, but her smile remained. She took another step towards him, carefully placing one foot in front of the other.

Whats that? he asked, an amused frown appearing on his face.

Kilu walked up to the side of the hospital bed and leaned in towards him until her lips were almost touching his. She watched as Axel took a deep breath in response to her proximity.

I have to say yes, she told him in a low, husky tone.

Kilu Branon, he said, slipping her hands back into his own, will you marry me?

She hesitated just for a moment, just to torture him. But she could not hold out for long, not after all theyd been through together.

Yes, she whispered.

See? he murmured. Problem solved.

Then he leaned forward, and pressed his lips against hers.

* * *

**Afterword**

_He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.  
- Friedrich Nietzsche _

This concludes my own attempt at a Star Wars trilogy. While my main goal was simply to tell an entertaining story--which I hope I've done--a secondary goal was to attempt to reconcile a significant contradiction between the canon (i.e. the movies) and the Expanded Universe.

Specifically, Lucas established in the prequels--specifically in _Attack of the Clones_--that Jedi are not allowed to form personal attachments, especially romantic relationships. This is not something that can be lightly ignored; it's a major plot point and is a huge factor in Anakin Skywalker's psychology and motivation, partially explaining his fall to the dark side.

However, the original movies did not explicitly establish this element of the Jedi Code. (Though having Luke and Leia turn out to be brother and sister kind of hinted at it--Luke ends the initial movie series decidedly unattached.) As a result, those who were creating the EU were not aware of this limitation on the Jedi and have created a "secondary canon", now widely accepted by Star Wars fans and even by George Lucas himself, that includes Jedi marrying and having children.

So in a way, my humble little story is an attempt to reconcile the prequel Jedi Code with the post-canon EU. Cocky of me, I know. (I don't quite buy the "Luke didn't know" angle--given what happened with Luke's father, I really think Yoda would have gone over that with him. "Hrmm. No nookie a Jedi must have. Forgot to mention that I did." ) I thought my own explanation sounded plausible--both from an event-driven perspective and from a philosophical one.

One last thing. You may be wondering if Axel, Kilu, and the _Nomad_ will ever fly again. Undoubtedly the happy couple went on to have many adventures together. If you enjoyed this story enough to want more, you have my thanks, and my apology that at this point I do not have any more stories with these characters planned. But the future is unwritten--literally. So keep the faith.

And may the Force be with you.

* * *


End file.
